Loss

It's been a sad few weeks. Our sweet Josie had a sudden onset of seizures without warning and within two days had to be released from her suffering. I am so crushed with this loss. For non-dog lovers I know it's hard to understand, and even for dog lovers my reaction might seem to be excessive but unless you received the kind of unconditional love and joy that she brought to my life, I don't blame you for not understanding. When the kids all moved out, when Jeff was hospitalized in 2012, when Jeff had open heart surgery and spent a summer recuperating in 2013, when I had some very sad, dark days she was my company and my comfort. I am trying very hard not to be the holiday downer, and having the time with my kids and family for those few days last week helped but I am back to my new normal life and feeling the crushing pain of her absence. I hate hearing that I should get a new dog  because it makes me feel like she is replaceable and that is not the case.  I am not saying I will never have another dog, but right now I can't even imagine it.

It's the Holiday Season!

Poor Josie is going to be on the receiving end of a lot of my holiday efforts, but it actually looked like she enjoyed her elf costume.

I am following my own rule: "No Christmas before Thanksgiving" but I am off to a bit of a late start.  Thanksgiving was wonderful- all my kids were home and Bob, Julie, Emily, and Bobby were with us for the day.  Alissa brought her boyfriend to meet Jeff, Barbara, Nick, and Michael and he seemed very comfortable with us.  This can be a challenge because invariably at some point conversations in our family veer into something controversial that can involve a spirited exchange of ideas- which we love, but I'm sure other families do not.  As usual reviewed the family plan for some catastrophe- this year it was the zombie apocalypse (these people watch Walking Dead- I do not so many of my suggestions are dismissed). Love my family.  Can't wait for all of us to be together with Gino and Andy's families at Christmas.

I had hoped to get pictures, but I was 100% occupied with cooking dinner and enjoying the time with my family and no one else got pictures.

I AM that type of blogger....

Once a month.  Can't believe that I can't manage more than once a month.  But, to be fair I did know from the get go that as soon as we get the first quarter of the school year under our belts it's crazy-busy until Christmas.

So to recap.  I got through parent-teacher conferences. It kicks up  such a conflict of emotions for me- the difference between the parents who are so devoted to their children (almost always to their benefit--sometimes not) and the parents who we can never get to spare the time to talk about their child. It's heartbreaking- kids who are really raising themselves. It's hard to realize you can only do so much without any support in the rest of their lives.  That is the part of being a teacher that I have never been able to really accept.

Followed up conference week with a trip to Chicago to see Alissa with Gino, Amy, and their girls. Traveling with three year old twins....well, actually they were pretty darn good for 99% of the trip.  Predictably, coming home was when the weekend caught up with them but it was fun to experience the city through their eyes.  Grant Park Zoo had a Halloween celebration going on and we had a great time.  And seeing Alissa--always the best time and I always wonder why we don't go to see her more often. And, I got to meet her boyfriend, who we all thought was very nice.

Lily enjoyed Alissa's bathtub with the Jacuzzi feature

I am enjoying this fall so much.  The first frost basically frees me from captivity.  I've been harvesting herbs to freeze and dry and  trying (in vain) to reclaim our gardens. I used to spend so much time working outside so it's great when I can get back out there.  I was just out in 30 degree sleet getting five dozen milkweed seeds in the ground. Those Monarch butterflies better show up.


Finished the pillows for all my grandma-friends.

And for the non-grandma friend who is our world traveler, I'm starting to chronicle her travels. She's been all over the world, but I'm starting with her latest trip.

  Oh- big family news.  Barbara and Nick adopted an adorable Boston Terrier, Gibson. They've been so anxious to get a dog and this little guy just fell into their hands. Meant to me.

Yes, I made him a pillow.

Completed Set for B&N (not Barnes and Noble)

100% handmade and I have the gnarly looking hands to prove it.

Autumn

I love the beginning of  fall.

Unlike 99% of the teachers I know who are breathlessly anticipate summer vacation, summer vacation for me (although very needed) means that I am at the mercy of heat and humidity which are two of my worst triggers for asthma. So I although  I enjoy some summers when there is a nice mix of good and bad days, there are  summers where I am a prisoner of air conditioning.

I don't know if I've revealed myself as a list maker, but it's a habit bordering on a compulsion.

 Fall to Do and to Enjoy list:

Update wardrobe-  the summer purge uncovered some hidden clothes that have come back into style.
I knew it would happen!  But fall clothes- yes!  I'm sick of sleeveless tops and bare legs.

Spice cookies- I love that Susan Branch recipe.  Those cookies freeze so well and I generally don't freeze cookies, but 10 seconds in microwave and it's like freshly baked.

Tights- I love wearing tights. Time to scout out new ones, unearth the old.  I scored a bunch at Old Navy for 99% off this summer, so it's time to get 'em out!  I've always had skinny legs, so I am all about tights. And- under the heading too much info- my leg shaving schedule gets pushed back. Waaaaay back ...McGilla Gorilla back.


Fall food- My family knows this and tolerates this and I think they secretly agree with this- but I think certain foods should only be consumed during certain times of the year. Fall foods to me means comfort food- which covers a wide variety of the foods I love cooking and consuming. I am all over this.

School- Once those first hellish weeks of school are under our belts, I love this time of year with the kids. We've established our procedures, there are so many fun activities I can sneak into our day, books to read to start building enthusiasm for reading, getting to know kids individually....I especially love teaching at this time of year.

Pillow project- Still deep into designing, needle working, and sewing pillows. After the set for Alissa I am just finishing up a set for Barbara and Nick's new home.  I've started making pillows for my friends with grandkids- a pillow for each child with their name and birth date.  Mentally I am designing pillows for winter and Christmas. I actually have a callus on my thumb. If this continues unchecked in two years everyone I know will be hiding from me for fear of a drive by pillow drop.

Pumpkin Patch and Farmers' Market- Haven't been down to our local farmer's market since the  first week of June, but definitely going to get in a few visits. we have such a cool location right next to the Mississippi River. And then trips out to the old pumpkin patch!  We had so much fun with our kids at the pumpkin patches over the years, maybe I need to borrow some nieces and go again.

Michael and Barbara- October 1993

And enough of sundown at 8:00.  I love that enveloping feeling of  an early evening.

Figured it out!

I had to navigate the process of moving pictures around, but persistence won out!

So from the family picture session-

Jeff, the kids, and I:

My parent's grandkids:

Barbara and Nick's new home:

Ok..feel better that I figured that out!

September...Blogging took a hit

I will admit, I kind of get annoyed when I am used to reading someone's blog and suddenly they disappear. I start to wonder what the heck is making them neglect their faithful readership in such a heartless way.  Fortunately, I have no faithful readership, nor do I expect to attract one--but I now see how you can get so busy that the opportunities to blog are few and far between and when they do roll around the energy is not there.

September in review- 

Weekend 1- Family picture attempted.....mini dramas to which I am blissfully ignorant ensue so the extended family picture is a bust.  Bright side- got a few lovely pictures of my kids and Jeff.

Weekend 2- Moved Barbara and Nick to their new house.  Lovely remodeled home built in 1894 with a view of the Mississippi River. So happy for them!   I'll have to get a picture up....can't believe I don't have one!

Weekend 3- Went to Des Moines to spend four days watching the 5 littlest nieces while the two  sets of parents went to NYC to celebrate their anniversaries. Had a great time, but that nostalgic view of having the little ones at home got a reality check. Fun, though.

Weekend 4- Bob and Julie came in on their way to celebrate their 25th anniversary by retracing their trip up the river.  Cooked an Italian dinner and loved spending that quiet time with them looking at the old family pictures.

And then there was getting that first month of school and tutoring going....yea, September was busy.

Sweet Freedom vs Need for Structure

Last night's musings:

Tonight is my last non school day night.  The kids don't start till next Monday, but tonight is the last night I can stay up however late I stay awake without the knowledge that I need to be up at out before 7 AM so that I am ready to greet my little darlings at 7:35 and keep that educational ball rolling all day. Then four days a week I have my tutoring students and I do love the relationships I have with those kids- watching those lights turn on as they catch on to new concepts and the relief they feel when they understand that they have learned the same things their classmates have learned- concepts or skills that were difficult is  indescribable. But it adds up to some very long days.   I do love teaching, but the freedom of just letting the day take me wherever it's going to go is pretty darn nice and although the weekends are great, it's not the same. Weekends involve a lot of catching up with smidgens of down time intersperse here and there.


So, year 37 here I come.

The Power of Shame

That title sounds so "Scarlet Letter" but actually it was the self-enforced shame that has driven me to complete the painting project --at least as far as the kitchen is concerned, I'm sure there is other woodwork that I am going to find that will cast the shadow of shame before long.

So completed project:

 See that cute little pottery house?  Jeff's aunt Kathie brought it back from Italy and that is what kicked off the color scheme that led to any number of items in the kitchen including that window treatment.

Painted, blistered hands--

I'm done and done in.

Why do I do this?

Every summer during those waning days before returning to school I always seem to take on all sorts of projects- waaaay too many, waaaay to complicated, and waaaaaaay too time consuming. I've also decided that I am the poster girl/woman for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.  I will start one thing, drift off to another and often another- and then do this crazy random rotation until I get everything finished.  The good side, I suppose, is that I do manage to get everything finished. Even now, starting a blog---why didn't I do this earlier in the summer? No clue.

So here are the kitchen cabinets that I have been alternatively glaring at and ignoring for the last several months. The light linen color definitely brighten the kitchen after we moved in to a kind of murky brown color, but they had become so dingy and discolored and generally blech I wanted something that kept the kitchen bright (one north facing window) but went along with my pseudo-Mediterranean themed kitchen. I spent several months vacillating between color ideas that would go with the fresco style walls (gold/umber/beige) and considered some shades of green very seriously.  But fate lent a hand when Jeff over-bought paint for the woodwork (like four times what we actually needed) and the color "Irish Creme" started to grow on me.  Side note- I am a sucker for paint names and have made huge mistakes because I've liked the name of the paint.

So- I am half way through...while Jeff volunteers at the Air Show, I labor in paint.  I now hate the color, but know that is just one of the stages of paint--as there are stages of grief, there are stages of painting.

Progress to date:

Bedlam:

Cabinets are not done- see that little hint of a darker color?  That was as far as I'd gotten.

My supervisor arises from her lair to check out my progress.

This job also entails removing fixtures (yuck) and polishing them which has turned out pretty well. Before on top, after on bottom.

Cabinets on bottom are drying, now the gymnastics of doing the top.

Maybe I do this to take the sting out of the end of summer.  Maybe I am foolishly trying to delude myself into thinking that going to school and starting a new school year will be restful.  How nuts am I?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I hadn't really planned on making this one of those show and tell blogs, but WTH I am making my own rules as I go along (finally!!).  Allergies and asthma keep me in for a good deal of the summer- this summer has been  either hot/humid (asthma) or cool/wet (allergies and/or asthma). My tutoring schedule was very sporadic this summer between vacations, camps, and wonderful family summer time activities but I tend to go a little crazy with time on my hands.  After two very traumatic summers getting Jeff back on his feet from that horrific fall in 2012 and open heart surgery 2013 I found myself with a lot of unfocused energy.

So here are the pillows that I made for my first born who lives in Chicago.  I will admit, I was not thrilled with the idea of her moving  there (crime, distance from family, urban isolation) but she has made the city her own and created a wonderful life for herself- career, home, friends......we could not be prouder of her.   I wanted to make something to go  in her new home that she would have for many years to never forget that she is always in my heart.  I combined the sentimental with the practical and came up with the idea of making pillows to go with her new couch.  This couch  was a story in itself--her original couch was defective and had to be returned, the new couch required many, many, many phone calls and emails to discuss style and color and after a twelve week wait  it wouldn't fit into the condo without being taken apart and rebuilt (a very traumatic day). I stumbled upon some graphics (slightly insulting) of Chicago neighborhoods and because she has lived in a few and works in another I ran with that idea.  It required transferring and sizing the images, projecting them on the overhead projector I have at school, tracing the image onto the fabric, cross stitching the design, and sewing up a pretty basic envelope pillow. But, I'm very project/goal oriented, so this was right up my alley.

She was very happy with the result and just sent pictures of how they look in their new home.

I see pillows in my future.....

.

So I'm going to give this a try. I'm thinking I'll start this off with family pictures, stories, and recipes and then just see what happens. 

So here are Joesph Fleming and Carmela (later Lillian..that's another story) Alborano on their wedding day September 30, 1923 in Brooklyn, New York.  So the story goes that Grandma did not actually want to get married but Grandpa pursued her so ruthlessly -which means he came to her house and the family met him- that they wound up getting married. Great Grandma Fleming, who by all reports was not the most pleasant woman you'll ever meet, was not a fan of this marriage because Grandpa converted to Catholicism in order to get married. In fact, she had to be removed from the church by the police.  Grandma had completed high school at night school and had hoped to go to nursing school which was part of the reason she was not anxious to marry, but Grandpa promised that she could go after they married, but life (and four kids) changed the plan. Grandma was always a huge advocate for education and wept at my college graduation.